How do you use prayer in your life?  Do you pray and beg on your knees when you feel that you have no other option?  Do you have a daily conversation with God?  Are you asking from a place of "not having" or do you pray knowing that your prayers have already been answered?

Prayer for most people is like dieting; you do it after you've reached a level of frustration and helplessness.  At some point, it's time to stop asking for guidance out of desperation, and begin everyday empowered with the knowing that all you have to do is ask.

We all have an inner guide that wants to help us experience the fullness of life.  In order to discover it, we must first turn inward and shut out the outer world to receive the good that is waiting for us.  Prayer is how we receive this guidance. 

God has already promised to provide you with everything you want.  Your job is just to ask.  Don't get wrapped up in trying to figure out how it will happen, or if it's possible.  If you can imagine it, God can surely provide it to you.  God isn't too busy or uninterested in your life to care about the little things.  He has his hand in your life to the smallest details.  But you first have to ask, and then to believe.

It sounds so easy, but you may already be arguing, saying that things don't work that way for you.  So let me ask you, are you in a place to receive the gifts that you've asked for? 

Do you see yourself as a worthy recipient?  You have already been given permission by God to ask for anything that you desire.  That leaves nothing out!  But everyday we sell ourselves short by taking what we feel we deserve instead of what God says we can have.

Let prayer and receiving be a crucial part of your day.  Ask and know that it is already provided for you.  Give thanks for the gifts that are still unseen.  As you build your prayer muscles, just watch as miracles unfold!

As the end of the year is quickly approaching, I decided to allow myself a little time to reflect before blogging and just focus on the consistency of the message that God wants me to share. 

This morning in meditation, I heard these words so clearly, and I know in my soul that I'm not the only one who needs to hear this.  So this is for all you women who are craving more for your life next year.

"Believe in yourself.  What you want wants you.  Success wants you.  PURPOSE and PASSION want you.  The desires that are burning in your heart are there so that you share it with others."

And my ego mind starts butting in, (as it so often will!) saying "Who are YOU?  What do you have to say that hasn't been said?  So many people are far ahead…you'll never catch up."

I pray.

I listen.

"These desires have been placed in your heart.  Not for you to hoard and keep to yourself, but for you to share.  You don't need to reach the world right away.  Start with your home.  Start with your friends.  Begin with your community.  Open your heart and all you need will be given to you."

Peace.

God, guide my actions and purify my heart and mind so that I can live on purpose.  That my little thinking be replaced with the power that is my divine right.  When I have doubt, I pray that You remind me that You are always with me, and with You, all things are possible.  I pray this for myself and every other woman who knows that she is destined for more.  This coming year we do not look back, we do not regret.  Together, we move forward- powerfully fueled by our inner guidance that will always be our truth.  Amen.

Are you waiting for something out of the ordinary and miraculous to show up before giving your heartfelt gratitude? 

I have news for you…While you're waiting for a miracle, you are missing hundreds of miracles that are unfolding before your very eyes.  Until you learn how to be thankful for the little things, God won't be able to release more. 

It's not because He doesn't want to.  God wants to give you everything your heart desires.  But He will always show you more of what you are looking for.

So here's a question to ask yourself.  What are you looking for?  Are you looking for chaos in your relationships?  Are you looking for struggles in your career?

You may be surprised what answer you come up with. 

This morning was nothing out of the ordinary.  But I felt a rush of joy as I gave thanks for all the beautiful things in my life even before I got out of bed.  Since I've been in the habit of practicing gratitude, God has brought so many miracles into my life.  And I never, ever want a minute to go by without acknowledging his work in my life.

He has blessed me with a wonderful family, and a healthy mind and body.  He has given me a relationship that I've always dreamed of with a man who makes me smile every time I lay eyes on him.  I am amazed at the gorgeous views outside my office window and even when I drive I get a front row seat to view His breathtaking mountain views. 

If I were wishing for "more" (more money, a better car, a bigger house…) I would completely miss what is in front of me right now. 

What can you give thanks for in this present moment?  Take 5 minutes right now, close your eyes, and just give thanks for all the simple things in your life that you may have taken for grated.  Just see how good you feel!  How different could your life be if you just started your day off with this practice?

I hope that you never have to go through a tragic experience in order to really find your inner truth.  It would be awesome if we all could reach a higher spiritual level through joyful experiences.  But most people don't really start to search within until they actually hit rock bottom.

Everybody's "rock bottom" is different.  Probably because it takes some people a little longer to really get it!  I experienced mine through a series of events.  I hated my job even though I made good money.  I started learning law of attraction principles and I really thought I was hot stuff because I felt like I had discovered a secret.  So I quit my job and started day trading options in the stock market so that I could have even more money and the luxury of time. 

But then everything crumbled beneath me and I lost it ALL.  My money, my house…and I couldn't get my old job back.  Rock bottom.

It wasn't until then that I really understood that I had to seek for joy, happiness, fulfillment, and completion within myself.  I was using the principles of the law of attraction as if I could manipulate them into something that would give me more "stuff".  And it just didn't work.  I believe there are many, many people just like me who read a couple books or watch a movie that tells you "You can have it all…" and they immediately start to imagine what that means in the physical world. 

The part that I didn't understand (even though it was repeated to me over and over and over again) was that I had to let go of my need for those outside things. 

Everything that I was attached to had to be taken away from me before I realized I was complete without the relationship, without the status, without the money.  Hitting rock bottom was such a gift!

There are still things that I am working on letting go and other areas in my life where I have learned to surrender.  And I can tell you that where I am struggling is where I haven't learned to trust in the process. 

But where I have learned to surrender and trust, my life unfolds beautifully day after day. 

What areas of your life are you struggling to make happen?  Do you grasp at relationships or struggle to make money?  These are the areas that are going to require that you go within and release to the Universe.  Can you do that? 

It seems impossible at first.  It seems scary!  Start with something small and watch how you are so taken care of by a power that is so much stronger than you.  As you begin to trust and have faith that the Universe wants to see you prosper in all areas of your life, you will allow yourself to surrender to the bigger things. 

Making decisions can be hard.  Especially when it involves decisions about your future.  Especially when it involves your future with a man.

Take Becca for example.  She loves her boyfriend despite the fact that he's possessive and unreasonably jealous.  She doesn't want to leave him but she doesn't know how much more she can take of being stressed out and fearful of his next accusation.

Or Chelsea.  She has a man who can provide a comfortable lifestyle for her, but he is emotionally detached.  He worries about work all the time, and doesn't include her in deep conversations.  She knows he loves her through his actions, but he isn't willing to share in words how deeply he really cares for her. 

Have you known someone like Tina?  She has been going out with one man for 3 months and she doesn't know where they stand; if he's dating other women or if he wants to commit to just her.

All of these women are faced with two options:  Do I accept my current situation, or do I walk away. 

Changing him is never an option….ever. 

It is time that you stop hoping that a man will become the man you want him to be when he's giving you every indication that he is clueless on how to treat a woman or be in a committed, fulfilling relationship.

If you are stuck in making a choice to stay or go, ask yourself if you are staying with a man hoping that someday he will come to his senses and change.  If that is the foundation of your desire to stay….it is time for you to go.

I know that sounds blunt.  But it's the truth.  SO many woman stay in half-ass relationships because their man has "potential".  You are better off finding a man that you can accept just the way he is, even if he never changed a thing about him.

Does this mean that you have to hold out for a guy who thinks, acts, and feels just like you?  Absolutely not.  As a matter of fact, I strongly suggest you DON'T look for a man who is a mirror of you.  Differences are great…and men who challenge you give you a huge opportunity for personal and spiritual growth.

What it DOES mean is that if you are dating a man who hasn't committed to you after a few months, you need to leave.  If your dating a shell of a man who doesn't tell you that he loves you after being together for a year, you need to leave.  If you're always wondering where you stand with him and you feel like he would leave at any time, leave him first because it's only a matter of time before he does. 

The decision really doesn't have to be that difficult.  Honestly, relationships don't (and shouldn't) have to be that difficult.  It's you who is making it harder than it has to be because you're allowing your fears to override your good judgement.

Fear of not finding anyone else.  Fear of never finding love.  Fear that you are making the wrong choice….what if this is all there is?

Sound familiar?

If you are on the verge of making a decision to stay or go, ask yourself if you would stay based on fear.  Are you afraid that you are not going to find someone who will love you the way you deserve and want to be loved?  If your reason for staying is built around fear, you are basing your choice around faulty thinking.

I urge you to have faith in the process.  Give the Universe a chance to bring someone into your life who adores you and treats you like gold.  Sharing your life with someone you can be vulnerable with is something I believe every woman deserves.  But the first step is making room for that person.  What do you need to do to take the first step?

Woman to woman, would you agree that sometimes (okay, a lot of times) we have a lot of requests that we would like to see our men meet. 

If only he were more romantic, told you he loved you more, took you out more often, made you feel special, stopped leaving the toilet seat up….if only he ______, he'd be perfect!

I've been having a LOT of relationship convos lately and this has been the common theme.

So is there a difference between having high but acceptable standards and asking too much?  And if so, where exactly do you draw the line? 

My short answer is, YES, there is a difference.  Having high standards is perfectly acceptable when you are willing to give as much if not more than you expect from him.  Where I draw the line is when you ask him for the world, making him prove that he's worth it before you show him the best of who you are.

Now, let's dissect this a little more.

Let's begin with the idea that having unreasonably high standards may be asking for too much.  I mean, if there were amazing men lining up at your doorstep, it would be a lot easier to decide if a few minor flaws were worth dealing with.  But finding a good man can feel like a "Where's Waldo" hunt, and letting one man go doesn't guarantee that you'll find someone better.  It's a little bit of a risk.

The long answer isn't as cut and dry, but by answering the following questions, you may have a better idea if you're asking too much from your man….

1.  Are you making excuses to stay in a bad relationship by saying that your needs are not reasonable? 

Are you in a relationship that has long outdone its welcome?  Your man has checked out emotionally and it feels like you are the only one who cares?  If this situation hits close to home, there might be a communication barrier.  You may feel like you're asking too much because he's not responding when you try to talk, and it's easier to stay silent than to sound like a nag. It doesn't mean your relationship is doomed, but things definitely need to change.

2.  Are you making excuses to get out of a relationship that has great potential because of your own fears?

One of my biggest relationship fears was being left after pouring my heart into a man.  I very often would sabotage a relationship by finding something wrong and continually focusing on it until it drove me to break up with him.  I didn't realize why I was doing this (or even that I WAS doing it) until I started to take an honest look at myself and my dating history.  Once I saw this pattern, I was able to notice when I fell back into the behavior and catch myself looking for things that were missing instead of focusing on the good things that these men possessed. 

If you were able to honestly answer "no" to both of these questions, it probably means that you are in a healthy relationship with a decent guy who may have a few rough edges.  Communicate your needs in a non-confronting, loving way, and see if he's receptive.  He may really want to work on it with you, and in the long run it could bring you closer together.

And if he's not willing to give you something you absolutely must have, be strong enough to let him go. 

I often hear women say they know exactly what they want in a relationship and how they want to be treated by a man.  But their current relationship or dating pattern is far from their expectations and desires. 

You can be very clear on what you want, and still unable to follow through in making sure your needs are met. 

Let's say that you meet a guy who is a breath of fresh air from all the other duds you've went out with recently.  He said a few things that didn't sit right with you, but for the most part, the date was a hit.  You dismiss some of the deal-breakers and ignore a few red flags because, when you compare this date with the others you've been on lately, this one just isn't so bad.

Are you known to settle for someone who doesn't fit your list exactly, but he's okay for now?  At least he's better than being alone, right?

These comments are what I hear all the time from some of the brightest, most beautiful, successful women, all frustrated with meeting the wrong guys or no good prospects at all.

I know what it's like to be at home alone on a Friday night and want so bad to be cuddled up to someone special watching a movie together.  It's a natural desire to want to be loved and to be in a fulfilling relationship. 

But by settling for "better than nothing", you'll just see more of those kinds of men enter your world. 

Until you make a clear declaration that you know what you want, and are faithful you'll get it, the Universe can't line it up. 

Do you often settle in a relationship for someone safe, even though there isn't a real electric spark?

Have you made excuses to stay with a man who is emotionally unavailable because you think he'll change, or because it's better than nothing?

Or have you shut yourself off to wanting to feel love because you've been hurt,so you date the guy who doesn't have the power to break your heart?

Making room for an exciting, fulfilling relationship requires clearing the clutter of unhealthy or even just mediocre relationships that are currently in your life and being open emotionally to someone.  This may seem heart-wrenching at first!  You're taking a huge risk at losing all that you have without any guarantees you'll ever find someone great. 

But I can assure you that the only way to attract someone worthy of your heart is to be faithful enough to let everything else go.  

By doing this, you are creating a magnetic force that will draw him to you. 

Relationships.  What a loaded word.   

As women, we desire to feel loved, emotionally supported, protected, and adored.  Men on the other hand seek autonomy, space, respect, and power. 

We both come together with our list of wants, needs, and deal-breakers and wonder why it's so difficult to actually find someone who both challenges us and allows us to feel open to love. 

Most of us also bring into a new relationship the history of our past whether we mean to or not, protecting ourselves from being hurt and closing ourselves off from our biggest vulnerabilities.  Men find it difficult to display love and affection because they often guard their heart after it's been hurt.  Us women protect our emotions and feelings because this is where we have felt neglected in our past. 

So what do we do in order that our feelings don't get crushed?  We morph ourselves into a woman that we feel will be more accepted by men.  We don't express our needs as much if at all, we pretend that it's okay that he didn't call back for 3 days after we slept together, and we shrug off his non-committal behaviors even though what we're really seeking is a fulfilling, exclusive relationship.

Let's look at the whole picture here.  We are all entering these new relationships with our own needs and agendas, unwilling to be vulnerable and open with who we really are. 

I believe that relationships are brought to us by God as a divine appointment to complete some much needed inner work.  Instead of asking, "What can I get from you?" the question to ask is, "How can I give of my love unconditionally to this person?" 

How would your relationship change if you sent the man in your life (dating or attached) unconditional love each morning before you started your day?  Not wishing he'd call, or hoping that he'll finally see how great you are and commit, but just send him complete, unconditional love and acceptance for his happiness. 

I think it was Marianne Williamson that I heard say that a thought never leaves its source.  Which means that in this case, when you send the wish for his happiness, you are also giving it to yourself.  So no matter what, regardless of if he calls or not, you will be happy.

This is a whole new way of looking at things.  You now become open to giving of yourself completely, exactly as you are, because you aren't asking for anything in return. 

As you begin to enter relationships from this point of view, what will happen is that you start attracting men who are more willing to open up to you as well.  You get what you put out in the world.  When you come from a place of wholeness and giving, you allow him to be more of his divine self as well.

Can you see how this is true in your life?  Take a snapshot of your current or most recent relationship.  Can you honestly say that you have loved completely and unconditionally?  This is a work in progress, because unconditional love doesn't come easy for most of us.  So be easy on yourself and just see how you can drop your expectations just for today and radiate more love to the person in your life right now. 

Before I end, I want to add a little disclaimer here.  This does not mean that you allow an emotionally unavailable or abusive relationship to continue.  By being unconditional love, it may mean that what you need to do is end the relationship that you're in because it is not serving both of your higher purposes.  Loving him unconditionally means loving yourself wholly and not settling for less in a relationship.  By releasing something that no longer serves you, you are making room for someone who can give back that same accepting, unconditional love and affection.  

Lately I've been having some great conversations with God.  Yes, I regularly spill my guts like my best friend is in the room with two open ears. 

Since I've been reading A Course In Miracles, I've had such a sense of peace, acceptance, and empowerment and I didn't hesitate to tell God how great it feels.  If you read my journal from the past couple weeks, you'd think the ink from my pen was made from rainbows.  Seriously.

But today was different.  Johnny's raincloud was hanging over my head and my negative energy was making it storm.  Why?  I saw a few women achieving GREAT BIG things…all my age…all in the same area of personal empowerment.  My envy meter was in the red zone and my mood got rather funky. 

The great thing about my conversations with God is that it doesn't matter weather I'm high as a kite or down in the dumps.  He wants to hear it all. 

And boy did he ever!  He got a total earful. 

I usually stay positive and look at the bright side of everything.  But I have my moments of darkness and even I get in my moods, and it's sooo ok! 

It's not a good idea to let the mood fester and stay stuck in a "woe is me" attitude.  But stuffing down your feelings and masking them with a "holier than thou" attitude isn't going to lift you to a higher level spiritually either.  God wants you raw just as you are. 

You can bring your attitude to God and just vent until you're out of steam.  Let it rip and don't hold back.   It feels good to open up and know you won't be judged.  He'll meet you with love and acceptance and grace every single time. 

Once you're done, be silent. 

And in the stillness lies the most profound answers.  On the other side of your temper tantrum is peace.  Listen.

Try this the next time your life just isn't working out and you need answers.  Go into a private place and let God know how you're feeling.  Drop an F* bomb, stomp your feet.  He doesn't care.  The more emotion, the better.  And when you've emptied all the toxic emotions, take a few minutes and be silent and open. 

He will answer. 

Be willing to accept what comes into your mind.  Don't question it.  Write it down and meditate on it. 

I never expected to have someone break down in tears at the end of one of my bootcamp classes, but that's what happened today.  I was so touched on a soul-level that it gave me goosebumps through my entire body. 

For the longest time I've been wondering how I can merge fitness and spirituality.  Those two subjects are what make me feel totally alive.  And the answer came to me in the form of 8 gorgeous women who stayed after class today to chat.

All of them had a unique story.  One girl opened up to me about her journey through sobriety for the last 4 years.  Another told me how she felt spiritually alone.  And one brave woman started crying as she told me that the gym was her retreat from her soon-to-be ex-husband and the felony charge he placed on her. 

These women all had one thing in common.  They used the gym as a way to clear their minds from the craziness that they felt in their day to day lives.

Which I think is a perfect reason to get your body moving.

But what happens after you clear your head?

The same shit is going to creep back in unless you have something different to feed it.  Our subconscious mind is filled with past thought patterns which may or may not be positive; but nonetheless are shaping your life.

So how do you merge spirituality and fitness?  Easy.  Clear your head, sweat out your aggressions, scream if you need to, dance if you want to.  Express yourself through movement.  And then feed your soul and uplift your spirit when there's room for the juicy stuff.

We aren't just bodies existing in this time and place.  We are deep spiritual beings who are experiencing life from our physical bodies.  Taking care of our earthly vehicle enables us to experience life, but if we don't exercise our spirit, we are sadly living blindly to the grandest experience of all. 

On that note, I'd love to hear from YOU on the connection between physical fitness and spirituality!  And keep your eyes open for more that brings these two things closer together for the Total Package Woman!!

I love you!